“I mean, yeah, you expect vampire sex to be brutal.” —Jerry, watching Breaking Dawn
* * * * *
“Of course he’s not wearing a tux. It would be a hell of a lot harder to take his shirt off that way.” —Manny, on Taylor Lautner’s pain-inducing appearance at some wedding in Breaking Dawn
“Why am I taking my clothes off?” —Manny
* * * * *
Annie: You’re following my conversation so well!
Manny: I know.
“That looks like where I grew up, and people from where I grew up shouldn’t be on television.” —Annie
* * * * *
Annie: Let’s not get married until we can afford to go on a tropical honeymoon afterwards and have the time of our lives.
Manny [responding a full minute later]: Can we have our topical vacation in Canada? It’s like…the tropics of winter.
* * * * *
“People who don’t like seafood are children, and children shouldn’t get married.” —Annie (of course)
“It’s not fair: you’re definitely my favorite thing to come from Indiana, but I might not be your favorite thing to come from Illinois because there are just so many cool things from Illinois!” —Annie
“Shit: is this character revenge-singing?!” —Manny
“Shit: for our Valentine’s Day movie, did we really chose a horror musical?!” —Annie
* * * * *
“Of course I have a pizza-box voice!” —Jerry
* * * * *
“I get wary when it’s, like, two days before….” —Manny [about a very serious subject he does not now recall]
Annie: Sometimes, on Facebook, it’s just like talking to people.
Manny: Isn’t it actually ‘talking to people’?
Annie: I guess it is, in some ways.
Manny: Whatever—we all know MyLife.com is where everyone’s actually at.
